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Griffs Baseball Blog: The Snoring Epidemic
Courtesy: Canisius College Athletics  
Release: 05/22/2012
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Canisius College senior Alex Tufts will be keeping a blog throughout the 2012 season. Updates will appear regularly on GoGriffs.com. More blog posts, along with other multimedia content can be found on the "official" web site of the Canisius College Baseball Blog.

Sharing a room on the road with fellow teammates is a positive experience for the most part. Friendships can be enhanced by finding the most efficient method of spending meal money and season-long bonds can be forged by playing cards in the lobby. Everything usually goes pretty smoothly... that is, if your roommates don't snore.  

"Stolz... Stolz come on man..." Linseman's voice grew louder and was filling with anger and sleep-deprived rage.

"Stolzenburg... Shut up!"

(These quotes are paraphrased, omitting many expletives).

Most times in the Linseman, Stolzenburg and Tufts room, verbal harassments are insufficient in halting snoring roommates. All three bullpen pitchers in this room are guilty of snoring from time to time, and it can cause the other two roommates to awake during valuable sleeping hours.

Due to how much we all loathe snoring, despite our tendency to do so ourselves, our room members have entered into a contractual agreement that permits physical force to neutralize any snoring offender at any given time.

Linseman's vocal efforts were futile. I reached down beside my bed, still half asleep, and fished for anything that would stop the loud snoring coming from the cot where Stolzenburg lay; roughly eight feet away from me. I retrieved a Griffs travel hoodie from the messy floor of our cavernous room and proceeded to tightly wrap it into a ball. I then sat up and launched it at the snoring beast as hard as I could. My makeshift hoodie-bomb drilled the sleeping freshman square in the back, much like some of the fastballs I had thrown recently.

The sleeping monster grumbled and ceased his chainsaw-like groans that were reverberating throughout our room. He remained silent for the rest of the night. Victory and peace had been achieved against the painful and sleep-denying noise of the young lefty-specialist.

Nate Linseman and I, veteran roommates of two years, run a tight proverbial ship. Thankfully, the loudest and most irritating snoring offenders are quarantined, forced together in one room like lepers so as to limit the harm on the non-snorers.

Roommates of Linseman and I learn fairly quickly that snoring is not tolerated in our room. During the 2011 campaign, Shane Zimmer experienced barrages of pop bottles, turf shoes, pizza boxes and coins if he was to fill our room with nasally breathing in the wee hours of the night. Most of these efforts had little effect on Zim, as his area of the room was already littered with Coke bottles and empty boxes of Mike and Ikes and Life Savers.

Like I said however, everyone in our room has snored from time to time. So if you wake up with water bottles, pillows, bodily injuries and a remote control beside your head in the morning, chances are that you were the one keeping everyone awake the night before.

Let the Big Dogs Eat,
Alex Tufts



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